


Walk the Tightrope

by nomical



Category: Dive!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Coda, M/M, Pre-Slash, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 10:06:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12078900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomical/pseuds/nomical
Summary: Turns out Tomo is handling the break-up with Miu better than Youichi.





	Walk the Tightrope

**Author's Note:**

> The pacing of this show is so damn weird, but it deserves to have more fics on ao3 damnit! This takes place at some point during episode 7 after the rainy pep-talk but before they go to the Bejing training camp. It's pre-slash and can probably be read as gen if you want to keep things platonic.
> 
> Thanks go to V for the beta work. Any remaining errors are my own, characters are copyright to Eto Mori.

It’s an unseasonably chilly day that sends Youichi inside the mall on his shopping trip. Banished from the house by his mother, Youichi is on the hunt for a birthday gift for his aunt. Normally, his mother would take care of this sort of thing herself, but he has a rare day off from practice and his mother likes to include him in what she calls ‘normal life’ as often as possible. Under ideal circumstance, she’d like to see him spend his day off with friends, but as Youichi doesn’t have any friends (outside the club) she settles for things like gift buying. So with her instructions ringing in his head to, ‘get some fresh air’ and ‘buy something thoughtful’, he steps out to face the day. He’d thought about just stopping by the local market, but visions of his mother’s glare and the crisp mid-morning air have him heading for the mall instead. 

It’s a bit of a stretch for his mother to claim he’s not getting enough fresh air. He spends half his waking hours at the pool, plunging headfirst through said fresh air over and over until his body is windburned and tenderized from repeated impact with the water. If anything, being outside and  _ not _ on his way to the club feels unnatural. The fact that there’s no practice today (the club is closed for its quarterly cleaning) doesn’t assuage the feeling that that he should be training right now. A low thrum of unease pulses under his skin. He walks faster, trying to trick his body into thinking that the slight current passing over his face feels the same as a dive from the tower but his brain isn’t fooled. If he finishes shopping quickly enough maybe he can squeeze in a run before dinner. Something – anything, to make this awful feeling of idleness stop.

He makes a beeline for the first home store he sees and buys a set candles. It’s not the most original gift, but the sign of Cancer is carved on the front of their dark ruby bodies. Surely getting something with both her star sign and birthstone fall under the umbrella of ‘thoughtful’. His mind already planning what route he should take on his run, he pays and leaves the shop, only half conscious of his surroundings.

“Sakai!”

Youichi whips round at the name. Tomo is here? He stops walking abruptly and someone crashes into his back. Muttering his apologies, he steps out of the line of traffic and cranes his neck to peer through the crowd. A group of boys he doesn’t recognize are hailing a kid who’s standing at the entrance to Uniqlo. His hands are full of shopping bags and it’s with some difficulty that he transfers them all to one hand to wave, his familiar face breaking into a smile. All thoughts of running temporarily silenced, Youichi starts forward but stops almost at once, recognizing that something is off even from this distance.

The boy’s face is the almost identical to Tomo’s but different in subtle ways, like an artist had tried to copy the original and made mistakes along the way. His jawline isn’t quite as sharp and his eyes are a darker, stormier shade of blue. Where Tomo’s hair fell in his face, this boy’s was pushed almost carelessly to the side. He was skinnier too, lean without muscle acquired from years of training. Something about him is unsettling; it’s like looking at Tomo in a funhouse mirror. Now that Youichi can see the differences, it’s hard to believe he could have mistaken this boy for Tomo. Tomo, whose face he sees more of most days than his own reflection. But the similarities are undeniable. This has to be the girlfriend-stealing brother, Hiroya.

Hiroya looks pleasant enough, though maybe it’s the similarity to Tomo that’s tricking Youichi’s mind. Clearly he’s an awful person to even consider dating a girl who already had a boyfriend, let alone dating his brother’s girlfriend. He feels a great wave of indignation wash over him as he watches Hiroya chat to the group of boys. How dare he be out having fun after all the hurt he caused Tomo? What an unfeeling brat. The friends say their goodbyes and move on, but Hiroya stays at his post, yawning widely as he pulls out his phone. Youichi isn’t entirely sure what to do. He probably looks a bit stupid, standing by himself in the middle of the mall, but he can’t bring himself to leave. Righteous anger for Tomo has him glued to the spot and he half hopes Hiroya will look up and notice him staring, give him an excuse to walk over and challenge Hiroya for his behaviour. Not that it’s  _ really _ his place, but Youichi feels like he’s been more of a brother to Tomo than this cruel boy ever has. But Hiroya doesn’t notice. Despite all the dark thoughts Youichi sends his way, Hiroya is content to tap away on his phone until he’s joined by a girl who hands him yet another bag to hold.

Given recent events, there’s only one girl Hiroya could be hanging out with: this must be the ex-girlfriend.

The girl is certainly pretty, though nothing much stands out about her. Her brown hair is cropped just below her chin and she’s pinned a butterfly barrette into her bangs. Youichi supposes her clothes are fashionable enough, if one cared about that sort of thing, but he can’t see Tomo falling for her based on appearance. Tomo barely notices how he dresses himself, let alone how other people are dressed.

The girl (Mina? Miu?) finishes stuffing her wallet back into her purse and smiles up at Hiroya. With displeasure, Youichi has to concede that her eyes are certainly an interesting shade of violet, though he still doesn’t understand what Tomo saw in her in the first place. Then again, Tomo doesn’t exactly have great taste in people, given that he willing befriended Ryo (he refuses to think about what it says about him that he counts himself among Tomo’s friends). 

Someone knocks his leg with a shopping bag and it brings him back to his senses. He’s been standing here for far too long. Mustering the strength to move and get on with his day, he’s about to leave when Miu takes Hiroya by the arm and pulls him towards a store across the way. Youichi isn’t old-fashioned, but something about how casually she touches Hiroya makes his stomach tighten. That’s far too forward for a new couple! Without meaning to, he takes a step forward and follows them.

It’s stupid really. He could be halfway home by now. He’s wasting what precious little free time he has stalking two selfish teenagers who, in all fairness, have done him no personal wrong. And yet here he is, following them from shop to shop, watching them talk and laugh and try things on. Without fail, Hiroya manages to find something in every shop that makes Miu clap her hands together and rush towards the changeroom. This routine clearly isn’t new to them, and he wonders how often they spent time together before they were found out, how long ago they began dating in secret. They’re clearly very comfortable in each other’s presence. The more he watches, the more irritated he grows with the pair of them. Did they have any hesitation before jumping into a relationship? Did they think about Tomo’s feelings at all before getting together? Somehow he doubts it. Tomo doesn’t talk about Hiroya that much. Truthfully, the brothers almost never see each other. Most days, Tomo spends long hours at MDC, and what little time Tomo has to spend at home, Hiroya is almost always with his friends or playing video games. They may be similar in looks, but their personalities and interests differ wildly. Tomo never speaks unfavourably about Hiroya, but Youichi always got the impression he was a bit lazy – content to spend his time at school and with friends without any real ambition. And he knows Hiroya repeatedly badgers Tomo for how much time he spends at the club. It took Youichi a while to pick up on it (Tomo can be so tight-lipped about his brother), but Tomo’s shoulders always hunch a little after fighting with Hiroya, and his first few dives are always disastrous until he can shake it off. Now that he can recognize the signs, Youichi makes a habit of clasping Tomo’s shoulders and giving him a lecture about posture before he climbs the tower. He might not be able to stop them fighting, but he can sure as hell make sure Hiroya doesn’t cause Tomo to injure himself.

Tomo had said even less about Miu. In fact, Youichi hadn’t even known about Miu until Tomo had ditched practice for a week and Coach Asaki came back with the news that Tomo had been dumped. He’d been hurt by the revelation that Tomo had kept parts of his life a secret, but then again it wasn’t that surprising. There isn’t much time to talk during practice. Diving is a sport that requires just as much focus as it does skill, and he doesn’t having much contact with the junior high schoolers after warm-ups. On the rare occasion their soaking time overlapped, it seemed more prudent to give Tomo and the others advice on technique rather than blab on about trivial subjects like dating. 

He’d been pleased when Tomo had finally opened up about the breakup. Youichi had been more than happy to convince Tomo to come back to the club (it had been dead boring without him), and beyond respecting him as a fellow athlete, Tomo obviously thought of him as someone with experience in matters of the heart (Youichi tactfully avoided revealing that he had zero experience). He was less pleased when Okitsu told him he and Tomo had shared a similar conversation but took some solace in the fact that Tomo had sought him out directly whereas he’d wandered into the conversation with Okitsu by accident. And if he’d been making a point to hang out with Tomo more outside of the club after that day, well no one had any right to know it was driven from a selfish desire to remain Tomo’s number-one idol. He didn’t like to think too closely about why it was so important to him to keep Tomo’s attention: that path only led to messy, unanswerable questions that he didn’t have time for.

By the time Hiroya and Miu reach their fourth store, he’s long overdue home. His mother may want him to experience ‘normal life’ every now and again, but his father doesn’t believe in time off. No doubt he’s prepared a list of chores for Youichi; a list that will grow in length the longer Youichi ‘wastes time’ shopping. At this rate, he’s pushing his chances at being able to go for a run, but he continues to keep pace with the young couple, ducking into stores or behind other shoppers to keep out of sight. He has no reason to hide; as far as he knows, neither of them have ever come to a match (he’s sure Tomo would have introduced him, as he did with his mother and father) and therefore have no idea who he is. But something holds him back and he lags several meters behind them. 

For a while, following them makes him forget his need to exercise. He feels a bit like a secret agent tracking a target; at the bare minimum a man on a mission. After the sixth store, he’s forced to conclude that his mission is terrible. Hiroya and Miu have to be two of the dullest people alive. He can’t stick close enough to hear every conversation, but all they talk about it school, friends, movies he hasn’t seen, and bands hasn’t heard of. Is this what being average is like? He’s never envied his classmates’ lives (after all, how many high school students can boast of being close to their dream of competing at the Olympics?) but there are times when he’s been a little curious about  what he’s missing out on. Wondered what it would be like to go on a date or visit a friend. He’s always thought of relationships, romantic or otherwise the same way he thinks about fatty foods; extras that are unnecessary to to the life of a competitive athlete. Something to look at, but not to touch. The average person can indulge whenever they wish, but for him they’re something to put off until later like a reward for good behaviour. After all, his parents didn’t get together until after his father’s win at the Olympics. And if this is what having a social life is like, he’s not missing much. The more he listens to Hiroya and Miu prattle on, the more alien he feels. Who cares if so-and-so is dating what’s-his-name? Why is it important that BTS tickets go on sale at 4:00 today? Why does any of this matter? He’s happy with his life the way it is. He gets all the socializing he needs from Tomo and the others at the club. How do people even hang out together without doing something at the same time? How can they just...talk?

Of course, it’s different with Tomo. They can talk for hours about diving and conditioning and competitions. Sometimes they branch out into other topics but mostly they stick to their shared passion. It’s hard to quantify what they are to each other; somewhere between friend and rival, apprentice and inspiration. Tomo might be unaware, but his desire to master the three and a half has pushed Youichi to step up his game too. He’s still safe, of course, Youichi has both years and talent on his side. But someone as driven as Tomo should not be underestimated. And the with the change in his abilities this year alone, it won’t be long until he’s serious competition. With all this between them it feels natural to talk to Tomo, but he can’t imagine how he would go about doing it with someone in his class. How do regular people even make friends? Whatever feelings Hiroya and Miu share surely aren’t as deep as the connection he feels with Tomo. Is that why they have to talk about such causal, superficial interests?

He’s lost in thought when Miu comes unexpectedly around the corner. Putting his world class athletes reflexes to the test, he dives behind a clothes rack and crouches out of view. It’s not a particularly dignified position, made less so that he did it in full view of the staff. The shop girl giggles at him and he can feel his cheeks turn bright pink, but Miu passes without noticing, her gaze fixed on some frilly sweater on the back wall. Ruefully, he thinks about what the elementary students would say if they could see him now: the great Youichi, the predicted saviour of the MDC, hiding from two junior high schoolers in the dress section. Sachiya would love to break that story to the rest of them. 

It’s picturing the look on Sachiya’s face that really brings him out of it. This has gone on long enough. He stands abruptly, falling sideways into the clothes rack and makes to leave. Hiroya finally takes notice of him and their eyes meet. An unreadable expression flashes across Hiroya’s face. At first, Youichi worries that perhaps Hiroya had been to a match and recognizes him but even so, what would be the trouble with that? It’s not like Hiroya knows Youichi was following them. He’s allowed to shop for clothes...in WEGO...in the ladies section. A bit strange perhaps, but he could always say he was shopping for his aunt. Besides, Hiroya is his junior - if he ever tried anything as bold as calling Youichi a crossdresser, he would put Hiroya in his place. He leaves the store quickly, unable to shake the feeling of unease. It’s not that he’s rattled by Hiroya looking at him: it’s his expression. Youichi has never had any trouble reading Tomo’s face. For better or worse, Tomo is an open book. Even when he doesn’t know the reason behind the expression, Youichi can always tell what Tomo is feeling. It’s one of the things he likes best about Tomo. But the resemblance between Tomo and Hiroya is enough that his mind’s eye creates an unreadable Tomo. A distant Tomo who never found his way to MDC, never entered Youichi’s world, never graced him with his constant optimism. A stranger who wouldn’t even glance at Youichi if their paths crossed.

A life without Tomo. It’s a bleak picture, but it shouldn’t have his head reeling as much as it does. Even if they’d never met, he’d still have diving and the MDC. Sure, the only reason he’d become friendly with the other divers was through Tomo, but that was just because none of them had the same dedication and fire Tomo did. He probably would have talked to them eventually. Maybe. At the bare minimum he’d have diving. He’d still be able to execute sequences that would leave the juniors goggling. There’d just be one less pair of blue eyes in the crowd. One less little gasp and bright smile. Youichi’s heart skips a beat and he stumbles over nothing, catching himself just before he falls. Nothing’s wrong. Why is he getting so worked up over this? 

He walks blindly, not looking at where he’s going until he runs out of floor to walk. The mall ends in a neat little food court, all the usual offerings he can’t have on display. His breathing hasn’t steadied yet and he can’t quite drive the image of Tomo as a stranger from his mind. He forces himself to look around at what people are eating, refusing to fold to panic. He just needs to grab hold of the situation and take stock. Hamburger: 563 calories. High protein count but the fried fat cancels out the benefits. French fries: 340 calories. Empty starch sticks – those are right out. Szechwan chicken: 179 calories. Lean meat but the sugars in the sauce cross it off the list. His gaze falls on a couple who can’t be any older than he is and watches as the boy takes the girl’s hand into his own. Dating: 0 calories but an unnecessary distraction. Time spent with significant other would be better spent at practice. Friendship: 0 calories. Less of a time suck than dating, but still has the potential to distract and waste time.

This isn’t helping. Instead of calming him like it usually does, his cold analysis of his surroundings is making him feel worse. Happy couples surround him on all sides, talking, laughing, eating, and sharing. The difference between their lives and his is so stark in that moment that he can’t bear it. He’s starved for both food and touch every day of his life: why should his lack of relationships and normalcy bother him now when it never has before?

“Youichi-kun?”

He doesn’t need to turn around to know it’s Tomo. Tomo, looking as he should with his messy hair, wide smiles, and diamond eyes. The sound of his voice is enough to stop Youichi from spiraling any further. Like a drowning man clinging to a lifeline, he turns to face this most welcome distraction.

Tomo weaves his way through the crowd towards him. It’s odd to see him in regular clothes that aren’t athletic wear or his school uniform. He’s wearing a mauve hoodie and faded jeans that make him look taller somehow. The hoodie, Youichi notices with distaste, is the same colour as Miu’s eyes. Suddenly, he doesn’t like this casual look anymore.

“Youichi-kun, what are you doing here?” 

Unlike Tomo, Youichi is not an open book. Ignoring what was probably the beginnings of a panic attack, Youichi smiles down at Tomo.

“My mother asked me to pick something up for my aunt’s birthday.” He raises the bag. “It’s so rare for us to have any time off, that she takes any opportunity she can get to get me out in  _ the real world _ .”

He perforates the end of his sentence with air quotes and Tomo laughs.

“I understand. My mother is the same way. She heard Hiroya and Miu were going to the mall today and sent me out after them.” The smile vanishes from his face, replaced by a smaller, more drawn look.

“You haven’t told her what happened?” asks Youichi, comprehension dawning.

“No. After the breakup, she just thought I was ill.” He looks up, almost definitely, like he’s daring Youichi to criticize his decision. “I didn’t want her thinking badly of Hiroya for something that was my fault.”

There are several things Youichi wants to say in this moment: that Tomo is being an idiot, that it’s Hiroya’s fault – Hiroya and Miu’s, that he doesn’t deserve any of this, that he’s better off without Miu, and how Tomo is too kind for his own good in taking the fall for his brother. 

What he says instead is, “they’re still shopping. I passed them a couple of stores back.”

Tomo flinches and looks over his shoulder.

“Oh,” he says in a voice far too small for Youichi’s liking. “I was hoping they’d be finished by now. We haven’t really spoken since...since-”

For all the patience he has while waiting to dive, Youichi can’t stand seeing Tomo this dejected for another second.

“Hey,” he cuts in. “Since we’ve both been kicked out of the house, you can treat me to lunch.”

Tomo blinks at him.

“What?”

“Lunch. There’s got to be something here you like to eat. And you can treat me because I got the last one.”

Tomo’s face brightens almost frighteningly fast, but it makes Youichi glad he hung around the mall long enough to see it.

“I’ve already eaten, but I wouldn’t mind an ice cream!”

“Really? They’re so many calories in that,” Youichi grimaces. “I thought you were serious about making it to the Olympics?”

He’s not really teasing, but Tomo doesn’t seem to notice. He’s already grabbed hold of Youichi’s arm and is pulling him towards the nearest vendor. Youichi definitely does  _ not _ feel a rush of affection at the way Tomo touches him so casually.

“We’ll get one cone and share it. That way, we both get the treat and half the calories.” Tomo rounds on Youichi, his usual smile fixed firmly in place. “One little ice cream isn’t going to kill you.”

Youichi hesitates. He hasn’t had ice cream since his twelfth birthday; hasn’t let himself indulge in anything extra in so long for fear of ruining his perfect conditioning. He takes another look at the people sitting around them. A mall food court is a terribly average place to almost suffer a panic attack. For what it’s worth, no one takes notice of him. They all have what they need at their tables already. 

Youichi opens his mouth. He’s going to refuse Tomo’s offer. He  _ has _ to. But the look Tomo is giving him now reminds him of how Tomo looked when he vowed to master the three and a half. Blazing, filled with determination and a confidence beyond his years. Even when he was at his lowest, Tomo was able to lift himself up. And now he’s doing the same for Youichi. Surrounded by things he can’t have (friends, love, and fried food) maybe this is the one time Youichi can reach out and take what he wants. 

“Okay, but only one bite.”

 


End file.
